Gifts
by Lady Aoi
Summary: COMPLETE!! ^_^v! This is my Hanagata/Otaru Christmas Fic, so rated for a little shounen-ai and some swearing.
1. Chapter One: The Calender of Death

Gift  
A Saber Marionette Fan Fiction  
by  
Lady Aoi  
  
Summary: Hanagata only wants one thing for Christmas this year...  
Rating: PG for mild shounen-ai and language in the first version, R for yaoi in the "Director's Cut" ^^  
Disclaimer: I don't own SMJ or Christmas.  
Apologia: Okay, I know the concept of this fic may seem very odd, considering I'm writing a fan fiction about people who are more or less Japanese both culturally and religiously celebrating a holiday which is frankly an Occidental construction. However, given the playful nature of Saber Marionette J and some of the more "Western" aspects of Japoness culture as presented in the series (Otaru's Mick Jaggeresque wardrobe from Episode 15 of SMJ being the most notable of them), I didn't think a fan fiction in which the cast celebrated Christmas would be asking readers to for an entirely unreasonable "willing suspension of disbelief", especially given some of the more illogical and odd things that happen in the course of the series. Keep in mind, too, that the Christmas celebrated in this fan fiction is a purely secular one, the message and spirit of which are more "How The Grinch Stole Christmas!" than The Gospel According to Matthew and more X-mas than Christmas.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
~December 8th~  
  
"Onii-sama?"  
  
Hanagata Mitsurugi looked up from dusting off his collection of Otaru Mamiya figurines. "Yes, come in, Yumeji."  
  
The door to Hanagata's room slid slowly open and Yumeji, Hanagata's eight-year-old brother, entered, his hands hidden behind his back. "Hey, Onii-sama," he said, giving his elder brother a large gap-toothed smile and bowing. "Guess what?"  
  
"What, Yumeji? Oh! You'd like an after school snack. Very well, I'll make you something as soon as I'm finished cleaning my collection."  
  
"Well, I'd love some tea and pocky," Yumeji confessed, looking over his shoulder in the direction of the apartment's small kitchen. "But that's not exactly it."  
  
"No?"  
  
"Nope! I made something for you today at school!"  
  
"Really?" Hanagata smiled, placing his feather duster onto a nearby table. "Well then," he said, bending down a little to face his younger brother. "I suppose snacks can wait, for a moment."  
  
"Uh-huh! Now close your eyes!"   
  
"Alright, alright," Hanagata sighed indulgently and closed his eyes. "Now will you give me my surprise? Or are you going to distract me all day, you wicked child?"  
  
"Humph! You can be mean yourself sometimes, onii-sama. But, here it is, anyway!" And grinning, Yumeji pressed large piece of cardboard into his brother's hands.   
At first, Hanagata kept his eyes closed and simply ran his hands blindly across the object's surface. After failing in this endeavor, however, Hanagata opened his eyes and stared at the thing in his hands.  
  
"Ano..." he said after a moment. "What exactly is it supposed to be, Yumeji."  
  
"It's a Christmas calendar, onii-sama. Here," Yumeji took the object from his brother's hands and sat down on the floor. "Look," he said, gesturing at the eight boxes of the calendar crossed off with red and green marker, "all these crossed off days are the days that happened already. And you take a marker or a crayon and you cross off the days as they go by so you can always know just how long you have before Christmas. Isn't that cool, onii-sama? Onii-sama?"  
  
But Hanagata was currently eyeing the calendar suspiciously. "Yumeji," he said after a moment. "You know we already have a calendar. Was there a special reason for making another one just for this month?"  
  
Yumeji's sudden interest in a small stain on the carpet betrayed him, however. Nodding a little, Hanagata folded his arms over his chest. "Yes, I thought so. Yumeji, after what happened last year, do you honestly think --"  
  
" -- that you'll forget what day it is and leave all your shopping 'til the last moment and end up buying really bad gifts that make Daddy upset enough to put you in the hospital 'til way past the new year?"   
  
Hanagata's left eyebrow twitched slightly. "You really think I'll forget what day it is?"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Yumeji," Hanagata sighed, placing a friendly arm around his brother's shoulders as he sat down on the floor beside him. "I'm not going to forget Christmas, okay?"  
  
Yumeji gave him a doubtful look.  
  
Hanagata sighed inwardly. "Because I have this wonderful calendar to help remind me!"  
  
Instantly, Yumeji's blue eyes lit up. "You really like it, onii-sama?"  
  
"Yes. Especially like the glitter and the -- the silver fuzzy thing in the corner."  
  
"So you'll use it, right?"  
  
"Of course, ototo-chan."  
  
"Yay!" Yumeji hugged his brother tightly as Hanagata's telephone rang. "Onii-sama, I just know this is gonna be the best Christmas ever!"  
  
"I think so too, Yumeji. Now, why don't you go start the tea while I answer the telephone, hm?"   
  
"Hai!"   
  
Hanagata chuckled as his younger brother raced from the room, nearly tripping over his shoes along the way.   
  
~Christmas *will* be better this year,~ he reminded himself for the fourtieth time that day as he reached for the receiver. ~And if I can get Otaru-kun the present he wants then perhaps... perhaps...~  
  
"Moshi moshi," Hanagata smiled as visions of himself and Otaru cuddling before a warm fire danced in his head. Yes, this would be the best Christmas ever.  
  
"Do you always let your father wait for five rings before answering the damn telephone, Mitsurugi?"  
  
"E...." To Hanagata, it felt as if his heart had momentarily leapt into his throat and frozen there. "Uuuuuuuur...."  
  
"Well, speak up, boy! God knows I don't have all day!"  
  
"Ano... gomen nasai, daddy!" Hanagata bowed to the telephone. "I -- I was talking to Yumeji and --"  
  
"No, you were wasting valuable time you could be spending learning how to manage a business mulling over your damned trinket collection."  
  
"But --"  
  
"Don't interrupt me!"  
  
"H--hai, Daddy."  
  
"Don't worry, Mitsurugi. I won't keep you away from your toys for very long. I'm just calling to remind you not to make any plans for Christmas morning."  
  
"Of course not, Daddy!"  
  
"You and Yumeji will be spending Christmas morning and all of Christmas day at Joshyua. This is your only reminder, Mitsurugi. I don't want half the damn morning to be wasted while Yumeji and I wait for Pinsuke to pry you away from that Mamiya boy you're always annoying."  
  
"Hai, Daddy...."  
  
"Don't you dare give me that empty, cavalier "hai, Daddy", you ungrateful spoilt bastard!"  
  
"Oh!" Hanagata winced, raising a hand to his heart and bowing his head slightly.  
  
"By the time you dragged your lazy good-for-nothing ass home last year, breakfast was cold and our entire Christmas was ruined!"  
  
"Yes, I remember..."  
  
"Then you also remember what I told you I would do if you ever ruined another Christmas for the Hanagata family."  
  
Hanagata nodded. "You said you'd break every bone in my miserable body, and that would only be the beginning of my troubles."  
  
"Am I a man of my word, Mitsurugi?"  
  
Hanagata barely dared whisper. "Hai, Daddy."  
  
"You know your father well, boy. So, are you going to be on time Christmas morning?"  
  
"Hai, Daddy."  
  
"Good. Now that we've confirmed your schedule, please feel free to go back to dusting your little toys. I'll see you on the Twenty-Fifth... with that new silk robe I want."  
  
"Hai, Daddy."  
  
"Good-bye."  
  
"Good-bye," Hanagata whispered into the dial tone. Slowly, he lowered the telephone back into its cradle and closed his eyes.  
  
"No, I'm not going to do it... I'm not going to..." Hanagata bowed his head as a familiar wetness betrayed both his face and his resolve. Slowly, he raised his hands and rubbed at his eyes.  
  
~But this won't help at all, will it?~ he asked himself. ~ If I just sit here crying then everything will be the same as last year. I'll be too upset to buy anyone presents, or put up Christmas decorations or --"  
  
"Onii-sama?!? Are you off the phone yet?!? The tea's getting real cold!!!"  
  
"Coming, Yumeji!" Hanagata sighed.  
  
~Or make sure Yumeji's Christmas is more merry than last year's four hours in the hospital were....~   
  
"No," Hanagata murmured, standing up slowly. "I refuse to let Daddy ruin Christmas for me! Yes, that's right!!" he cried, jabbing his finger at his father's photograph which hung from the wall. "No more cowering at the sight of your shadow, Daddy! No more running away from the sound of your voice, and above all --" he wiped his eyes with his free hand. "No more crying! I am going to make certain that this is the best Christmas of all time. Not just for Yumeji and me, but for... everyone."  
  
The telephone rang again.  
  
"Eh?" Hanagata reached out and picked it up. "Moshi Moshi?"  
  
"AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SHOUTING AT MY PICTURE LIKE AN IDIOT!! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF!"  
  
And once again, the sound of loud sobbing rang through the apartment, startling Yumeji almost enough to drop his tea.  
  
"Why does this" *sniff* "Always happen to me?!?" 


	2. Chapter Two: Of Plates and Men

~Chapter Two~  
Summary: Yumeji finds Christmas shopping with his elder brother to be more surreal than an Burroughs novel...  
  
  
At first, Hanagata faithfully crossed off the days on Yumeji's Christmas calendar, determined not to let the sense of impending doom that surfaced every time he thought about Christmas at his father's get the best of him. As the eighth slowly turned into the ninth, however, Hanagata felt his determination crumbling faster than a brick beneath Kamatarou's large fist. Ten minutes later, and the calendar was safely hidden deep within his laundry basket.  
  
As the days wore on, Hanagata's reserve to enjoy the holiday season waned even further. Somewhere between the twelfth and the fourteenth, he began having nightmares that usually involved being strangled with yards of tinsel or having his body pummeled into the consistency of Christmas pudding. By the seventeenth, Hanagata's nervous silence was even beginning to get to Yumeji, who began spending long hours in his room "making gifts for Lime-chan and the girls" in order to spare himself his older brother's agony. Meanwhile, Hanagata boarded himself up in his room in order to "work on my Christmas outfit". As he sewed, the only two thoughts which kept him sane enough to slide the needle into and out of the fabric were the those of how irresistible his long, slender legs would look in the outfit's short skirt and tights, and, more importantly...  
  
The perfect gift he would buy for Otaru-kun, the specifics of which he maniacally enumerated to Yumeji every morning at breakfast and every night at their solitary dinner until the young man almost wondered if he'd prefer to starve if it meant being spared the gory details. And by the time Christmas Eve rolled around, it took all of Yumeji's efforts to drag Hanagata out of the house in a last-ditch attempt to show his brother the gift he wanted more than anything this year...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Onii-sama! Onii-sama!! Look at all the toys!"  
  
"Hai, Yumeji, I see them," Hanagata Mitsurugi chuckled as he followed his younger brother's almost lustful gaze to the toy locomotive circling the shop's window display. He couldn't help it, he decided. Yumeji's happy face, coupled with the sights and sounds of the Kobe Market in December were enough to make him forget his troubles.   
  
~After all,~ he thought with a grimace. ~ If I'm going to die a slow, violent and painful death somewhere between Christmas Morning and Christmas Morning, the most I can do is enjoy what's left of the holiday season...~  
  
Yumeji grinned happily at him before smearing his cheek across the glass to get a better view.   
  
~...or whatever's left of it, that is. How long do I have to live again? One week? At least one week... yes. The last time I checked a calendar it was December 18th... plenty of time to find Daddy's robe, get Otaru-kun's gift custom made and...oh, well, at least I'm ahead in _something_,~ Hanagata smiled to himself at the thought of the store's last gift-wrapped toy locomotive and track hidden only half an hour ago in the trunk of his motor palanquin.  
  
~But it's strange that they'd be out of them so early in the month. Oh well, maybe they'll get a new shipment in tomorrow or something...~  
  
"It's on some kind of weird system," the younger boy explained, pulling Hanagata out of his reverie and into the chestnut-scented reality that was the Holiday Market. "'Cause it goes in the little tunnel in the back and then it appears way up there on the mountain like a few seconds later -- hey, look!! There it goes now! Onii-sama, I really like that train!"  
  
Hanagata smiled and gently patted his little brother's head. "I know, Yumeji. And if you've been really good this year, Santa Claus might bring it to you!"  
Yumeji rolled his eyes. "Onii-sama, come on! I've known Santa Claus was just Daddy in a red suit since I was four!"  
  
Hanagata furrowed his brow in disapproval. "And just how exactly did you know this, Yumeji?"  
  
Yumeji gave him an exasperated look. "'Cause he caught you eating the cookies I'd put out and challenged you to a wrestling match -- which he won like ten seconds later."  
  
Hanagata merely stared blankly at his younger brother for a few moments before bursting into the nervous laughter of one who has just been proven wrong both publicly and painfully.  
  
"Well, anyway, that's enough looking for today, Yumeji!"  
  
"But Onii-sama!! Can't we just watch it go around the track just once more?"  
  
"No, because we have to finish shopping."  
  
"Onii-sama --"  
  
But Hanagata was already walking away.  
  
"No butts! I want to make sure we get all our shopping done well before Christmas Eve!" The young man stopped in mid-stride to clasp his hands together. "After all," he continued, gazing up into the winter sky with shining blue eyes. "The wonderful gifts I'm buying for Otaru-kun take time to prepare, Yumeji..."  
  
"Time? But Onii-sama --"  
  
"Don't interrupt!!" Hanagata cried, whirling around and shoving his finger into Yumeji's face. "I'm explaining a very important fact here, Yumeji!"  
  
The little boy blushed slightly out of surprised and nodded as he attempted to fight down a growing sense of anxiety.  
  
~Oh no... did Onii-sama forget again...?~  
  
"As I was saying," Hanagata continued, clasping his hands over his chest yet again and turning his bright blue eyes to the cloudy sky. "The gift I plan to purchase for Otaru-kun this Christmas will go down in history as the most sensitive, the most wonderful, and certainly the most expensive Christmas gift in all of Terra Two's history!"  
  
"Demo..."  
  
But Hanagata was already lost somewhere in a rose-colored world. In his fantasy, he wore a red and green elf costume complete with striped tights and pointed shoes as he danced around gigantic candy canes to the sound of jingle bells. And his world was made only brighter by the smile on Otaru Mamiya's face as he opened his present on Christmas Eve.  
  
"Otaru-kun," Hanagata murmured, "This Christmas, I will show you the depths of my love by giving you the most wonderful, the most spectacular, the most expensive present in all of Japoness! Yes, Otaru-kun... I am going to give you --"  
  
"A holographic ball with your picture in it," Yumeji muttered, startling Hanagata from his reverie. "Hai, hai, onii-sama. You've told me that a thousand times."  
  
Hanagata shot his younger brother a dirty look. "Not just any holographic ball, Yumeji," he reminded him crossly. "But a ball with a base made of twenty-four karat gold and lined with red velvet, upon which, in pure spun gold thread--"  
  
"-- is embroidered scenes depicting your immortal passion for Otaru-san," Yumeji finished almost mechanically.   
  
"And the hologram inside this ball --"  
  
"Is you wearing nothing but a smile and a well-placed sprig of mistletoe. You've been telling me that forever, onii-sama."  
  
"And did I also tell you such a marvelous custom-made present would cost?"  
  
"Two-thousand mon, plus tax. Which reminds me, onii-sama, Daddy's been looking for a box containing just that amount since last Friday. And he wanted me to ask you if you know anything about it."  
  
Hanagata simply stared at Yumeji for a moment before throwing his head back and laughing loudly enough to make more than one fellow shopper stare. "Anyway, that's enough talk for now, Yumeji. Why don't you go and get some lunch at the Sushi House while I um... go and get my fortune told for the day."  
  
Yumeji gazed at the toy train once more before sighing loudly.  
  
~Yup, he forgot again...~  
  
"Well, onii-sama, it had better be a fast lunch if we're gonna get all our shopping done by tonight."  
  
"Why, what's so special about tonight?"  
  
Yumeji sighed. ~I'm going to kill him.~ "Because tonight is Christmas Eve, onii-sama."  
  
Hanagata merely blinked at his brother before throwing his head back for another loud and stare-inducing laugh. This time, however, the laugh lasted much longer and seemed to border on mass hysteria.  
  
"Ohh, Yumeji!" Hanagata cried, wiping a tear from his eye. "Don't -- don't *tease* me about things like that! You know how long it takes me to get ready for Christmas and --"  
  
"It's not a joke, onii-sama! Ohhhh, didn't you use the Christmas calendar like I asked you too?"   
  
"Oh... ano.... of-- of course I did --"  
  
Yumeji folded his arms over his chest and frowned. "Well, then you should know that today's Christmas Eve!"  
  
"I ... Yumeji, this really isn't funny!!"  
  
"And I'm telling you I'm not joking! You've waited 'til the last minute to do *anything*, onii-sama. And unless you know a place that can make that ball for Otaru-san in, like, four hours, then you might haveta get him something else this year."  
  
Hanagata simply stared at his brother for a few moments, his pale face twitching slightly as he emitted small, gurgling sounds.  
  
"Onii-sama?"  
  
~Oh no! I shouldn't have said anything! I think I've killed him...~  
  
"Onii-sama?"  
  
But Hanagata's heart had long since surpassed freezing and climbing into his throat. The way it felt now, it might simply shrivel up and die at any moment. Hanagata turned his wide blue eyes to his brother and....stared at him as if he were a complete stranger who had just asked him to shave his dog in perfect Xi'anese.  
  
"Onii-sama?"   
  
The pidgeons perched on top of every building in the market screeched and took flight at the sound of Hanagata's scream.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Onii-sama!! Slow down!!! Onegai!!! You're gonna hit someone!!"  
  
"No time!!! No time! No time!!!"  
  
"But Onii-sama --"  
  
"Must find gifts!! Must find perfect gifts!!!"   
  
"But --" Yumeji cried out and tumbled into the back of the golden motor palanquin as Hanagata took a sharp turn which narrowly missed slamming right into a group of shoppers.  
  
"Onii-samaaaaaa!!! You're gonna get us killed!!"  
  
"Hang on, Yumeji. We're almost there... almost there.... yes, almost there!!!"  
Seconds later, Hangata's motor palanquin screeched to a tire-burning halt before Kyouichi's Krystal Kave, the very location at which he'd purchased his custom-made holographic Otaru crystal ball six months earlier.   
  
"What are you gonna do, onii-sama?" Yumeji asked as Hanagata slammed the driver's side door shut.  
  
"I'm going in to see if they can make Otaru-kun's gift. In the meantime, Yumeji, you are going to get Daddy's present."  
  
"But --"  
  
"He wants a red bathrobe made from real Romanan silk with a gold trim!! You know his size! Meet me back here in an hour!"  
  
"But what if I can't --"  
  
"Yumeji, DAMMIT THERE'S NO TIME TO ARGUE!! NOW GO GET THE ROBE!!"  
  
"H--hai!" And with that, the boy raced off down the street.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Exiting the small clothing store an hour and a half later, Yumeji again thanked Kami for remembering to finish his own Christmas shopping two weeks ago. Now, no matter what his Daddy would say about the... interesting robe his onii-sama would give him tomorrow morning, he would sure be delighted by the slippers and the new boxing gloves! Not only that, but the goodie baskets he'd painstakingly put together for Lime, Cherry, Bloodberry and Otaru-san were sure to go over well!  
  
~Hmm, I wonder what Onii-sama's gonna get for Lime-chan and her friends,~ Yumeji wondered as he approached the Krystal Kave.   
  
~Oh well. At least now, maybe he's got Otaru-san's ball. And if that's the case, maybe we can just go home.~ Deciding to give his elder brother the benefit of the doubt, Yumeji pulled the door to the glass shop open --  
  
"DAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
-- to find his brother kneeling on the counter repeatedly poking a salesman in the nose.  
  
"H--hanagata-s-sama! O--onegai!! Calm yourself!" The poor man whimpered. "I-- I just got that pierced!"  
  
"Calm down?" jab. "CALM DOWN?!?" Jab. "You ruined it!" Jab. "RUINED IT!!!!!" Jab! Jab! Jab!  
  
"B--b--but --"  
  
"This is an OUTRAGE!!! Do you have ANY IDEA WHO I AM?!?"  
  
"O--of course, Hanagata-sama. You -- you are --"  
  
"STOP TRYING TO EVADE THE QUESTION, YOU SPORTS PLAYER!!!"  
  
Yumeji sighed and shook his head. "So much for good will towards all men," he muttered to himself. "Onii-sama!! Stop it! You'll hurt him!"  
  
"That's my sole INTENTION, Yumeji!!!" Hanagata's irises were now the size of pin pricks as he began shaking the salesman's head back and forth.  
  
"Onii-sama!!! Don't!! Please!! It's Christmas!"  
  
"That's right!! And he's just ruined it!! Ruined it!!!"  
  
Yumeji sighed. It looked like he would have to handle this situation in the time-honored Hanagata way...  
  
"Excuse me, sir?"Yumeji gave the closest and most burly man his most innocent smile. "Gomen nasai, but it seems my onii-sama's had, like, way too much to drink!"  
  
The man looked Hanagata (who was now attempting to pin the hapless salesman to the floor) over as if he were a new kind of fungus growing in a thus far undisclosed and inappropriate location. "You sure that's the only thing wrong with him?" he said at last, folding his arms over his chest. "Anyway, it's not my problem, kid."  
  
"I'll give you seventy-five mon if you get him out of the store for me."  
  
"Take that!! And that!!! Feel the wrath of a man scorned!!!!"  
  
"Ahhhh!! Not the hair!!"  
  
The burly man shook his head and gave Yumeji a sympathetic look. "He really is a nuisance, isn't he?"  
  
"You don't have to live with him, sir."  
  
"Hmm, can't say I'm not thankful for that. Ok, kid. One hundred and you've got a deal."  
  
"Seventy-seven."  
  
"Ninety-five."  
  
"Simpleton!! You shall suffer gravely for offending the manly Mitsurugi!!"  
  
"Owwwww! My tooth!"  
  
"Seventy-nine."  
  
"Eighty-five and not a ryo less!"  
  
"And now for the coup d' grace... ugly-plate-that-I-didn't-order to the forehead! HA HA!! TAKE THAT!!"  
  
"You drive a hard bargain, mister," but Yumeji handed him the wad of mon, anyway.  
  
"Thanks, kid," Yumeji simply hid his disgust behind another polite smile as the man tousled his blonde hair and made his way over to the counter, which Hanagata was now standing on top of.  
  
"Attention, good gentlemen! I am going to perform an impromptu ballad about the poor quality of service in this establishment!"  
  
"Sir?" Again the man turned around as Yumeji tugged on his jacket.   
  
"What is it, kid?"  
  
"Um... don't, like, hurt my brother or anything, ok? It is Christmas, after all..."  
  
"Today, at the Krystal Kave, I was given a ridiculous plate THAT I DID NOT ORDER to give to my beloved. And thus this song: Broken Plates."   
  
"Good thing you told me that before he began screeching." The man said, wincing as Hanagata's shrill voice broke a glass vase near the door. And with that he sauntered across the room, cracking his knuckles ominously...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Onii-sama... let me look at it..."  
  
"No, Yumeji."  
  
"But your nose hasn't stopped bleeding for ten minutes. Maybe it's..."  
  
"I said leave me alone, Yumeji!"  
  
"Onii-sama," the boy sighed and rested his hand on his elder brother's shoulder. "You're being kinda childish, don'tcha think?"  
  
"Fine then! Treat me like a little child! Goo goo, ga ga, da da!"  
  
"Onii-sama, we're in public," but even this admonition was not incentive enough to stop Hanagata from rolling around on the snow-covered sidewalk as two streams of tears leaked from his eyes.  
  
"Onii-sama, I'm sure he'll like a plate with your picture just as much as that ball!"  
  
"Humph! Have you even looked at that monstrosity?! I'm going in there and demanding my money back!"  
  
"Well, that'll be kinda hard to do, considering they just banned you for life."  
  
"Stop picking on me!! Banned for life from the Krystal Kave!! What ever shall I do for all my Otaru glassware needs now?!? Oh, woah is me!!!"  
  
Yumeji rolled his eyes and slid the tissue paper away from the glass plate. "Oh, come on, onii-sama! It can't be as bad as you --" Yumeji's swallowed at the sight of the thing. "Ano...onii-sama? Is your face supposed to be stretched out like that?"  
  
His only response at first was the soft 'thud' of bone against cold concrete as Hanagata slammed his head repeatedly into the sidewalk.  
  
"Onii-sama, don't do that. You'll break the sidewalk."  
  
"Thank you soooo much for your concern!" A soft sigh of near-existential angst escaped Hanagata's lips. "Did you find Daddy's robe?"  
  
Yumeji's heart froze only momentarily before he thought up a good enough...well, embellishment of the truth. "Ano... yeah! Yeah I did, onii-sama... nothing to worry about there!"  
  
"Really?" Hanagata looked up from his sidewalk-worshipping with a quasi-hopeful smile.. Briefly, Yumeji weighed the odds; on the one hand, he could tell his big brother the truth and get chased around Japoness for the next three hours by an unstable, ugly-glass-plate-wielding Mitsurugi... or he could simply continue lying and get chased around Joshyua for three minutes Christmas morning by an unstable and battered Mitsurugi who would probably lose his balance and lie in a bruised heap until sometime after dinner. Hrm... truth. Lie. Truth. Lie. Truth. Lie...  
  
Well, wasn't the choice obvious?  
  
"Yeah, really."  
  
"Oh, thank Kami. Yumeji, give me your hand. Yes," Hanagata continued as his brother helped him from his fetal position near the Krystal Kave's front window. "I, Hanagata Mitsurugi, have completed my Christmas shopping over an hour before the stores close. I am a virtual shopping God!"  
  
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Yumeji asked, visions of the toy train dancing in his head.  
  
"Um... no... I got gifts for Daddy and Otaru-kun."  
  
Yumeji sighed. ~Kami-sama, I think you owe me for this...~ "How about Lime-chan, and Cherry, and Bloodberry?"  
  
Hanagata wrinkled his nose in disgust. "And why would I want to waste my money on buying gifts for those uppity machines?"  
  
"Because those uppity machines beat the snot out of you last year for not getting them anything, remember."  
  
"Oh," as Hanagata's face palled and his eyes again took on the frantic, possessed look of a last-minute holiday shopper, Yumeji silently cursed himself for being so altruistic.  
  
"Yumeji!! What am I gonna do?!" Hanagata stammered, hopping up and down nervously. "Everything closes in an hour and I don't have any ideas!"  
  
"Well," Yumeji began, hoping the hint would register somewhere within his brother's twisted mind. "We could always go back to that toy store and --"  
  
"Wait! I know! You have a bunch of gift baskets for them in your closet, don't you?!"  
  
Yumeji eyed his brother darkly. "Where's this going?"   
  
Hanagata threw himself on his knees and clasped his hands together. "Please, Yumeji! Let me have your gifts!!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please!"   
  
"Onii-sama, let go."  
  
But Hanagata only tightened his grip on Yumeji's shoulders. "Please," he whimpered. "If I don't give those she-devils something you know what they'll do to me!"  
  
"And if I don't give Lime-chan something she'll cry until the New Year!"  
  
"Humph! Putting that machine's so-called "happiness" before your own flesh and blood's well-being! Besides, they actually _like_ you, Yumeji!"  
  
"Your point being?"  
  
"They won't beat you up if you don't get them anything for Christmas. On the other hand, they will have no trouble kicking me all the way to Romana if I don't show up with a gift! NOW FORK OVER THOSE GIFTS, YUMEJI!!!"  
  
"Stop shaking me!"  
  
"I'm the eldest son!! I have rights!!"  
  
"Baka!" Yumeji shouted, pushing his brother roughly away. "Instead of fighting with me, why don't you just go and get them something!"  
  
"But, I don't know --"  
  
The boy sighed, silently noting this was at least the thirtieth time he'd done so on this particular shopping trip. "Listen, onii-sama," he explained. "You don't have to get them anything fancy."  
  
"I -- I don't."  
  
"Heck, no! Lime-chan would probably be happy with candy, and Cherry --"  
  
"We don't have time to talk, Yumeji!" And again the boy gasped as Hanagata grabbed his hand and pulled him off down the street.   
  
~ End Chapter Two~ 


	3. Hana Claus is Coming to Town!

Lady Aoi's Notes: ...I'm speechless. I completely forgot I'd written most of part three of this until I clicked on an oddly named document two nights ago! Heh. Go me.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
"More rice pudding!" Lime cried, pushing her special bowl into Cherry's face.  
  
"Hai," the violet-haired marionette sighed, dropping a fifth ladle of pudding into Lime's bowl.   
  
"M-- *hic* more!" Bloodberry chuckled, managing to fill her cup with more sake in spite of her shaking hands.  
  
Otaru Mamiya beamed as he sat his empty bowl down. "Sugoi!! You really outdid yourself with this year's dinner, Cherry! This pudding is the best thing I've ever tasted!"  
  
"More!!"  
  
But Cherry was far too busy gazing lovingly into her master's eyes to do more than simply push Lime's hand and bowl away from her now sparkling eyes.  
  
"R--really, Otaru-sama?"  
  
"MORE!!"   
  
Bloodberry happily belched and just as happily refilled her cup.  
  
"Hai! This is the best pudding I've ever tasted!"  
  
"Oh, Otaru-sama..."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was snowing outside, and Cherry, clad in a festive red and green candy-stripped kimono, sat patiently by the door, cradling Otaru junior and anxiously awaiting _his_ arrival.  
  
Tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...  
  
As Cherry watched each delicate snowflake fall to the ground, she hummed a soft lullaby to the boy asleep in her arms. As she reached the song's second verse, however, the door in front of her slid open, revealing --  
  
"Welcome home, husband."  
  
"Cherry," a shiver of delight coursed through her as Otaru entered the apartment and began removing his jacket.  
  
~Ohh, he has such a gorgeous body!~  
  
"And was Junior a good boy today?"  
  
"Hai, Otaru-sama! He was a perfect angel..."  
  
"Just like my perfect angel..." Cherry trembled slightly as Otaru loosened his tie, his smoldering dark eyes locked onto her body the entire time.  
  
"O--otaru-sama...?!"  
  
"Cherry," the young mother blushed as Otaru lasciviously pulled her into a hug. "I want to give you your Christmas present early this year..."  
  
"E--early, husband?" Cherry blushed prettily and hugged the baby closer to her. "Demo... the baby....iee!"  
  
"No, Cherry, my love," Otaru insisted as his hands began undoing the kimono's closures. "He has to learn of these things sooner or later. And besides -- I must have you now... right here on this table!" And with that, he tore the rest of her garment off.  
  
"Otaru-sama!!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"...."  
  
"....."  
  
Lime, Bloodberry and Otaru stared on dumbly as Cherry dropped her ladle and threw her arms around herself.   
  
"Ohh, Otaru-sama!! Not here!!" She cried as her hips gyrated wildly. "You'll knock the candles over!! You'll wake the baby!! You'll break the table!!!!"  
  
Bloodberry shook her head and took another swig of sake. "And she says I drink too much."  
  
"O-ta-ru-kuuuuun!!!!!!"   
  
The apartment's occupants barely had time to grab their bowls before Hanagata burst through the trap door beneath the table. "NEVER FEAR, OTARU-KUN!!" The young man cried as he elegantly backflipped through the air. "HANA CLAUS HAS JUST ARRIVED, AND YOU'VE BEEN A VERY GOOD BOY THIS YEAR!!"  
  
Landing on the table, Hanagata spun around wildly on his tip toes, his short santa skirt twirling up just far enough with the motion to reveal his matching white fur-trimmed red velvet underwear. "So why don't you come sit on Santa's lap and ask him --"  
  
WHAM!!!  
  
"Gahh!!" Hanagata landed on his back, legs pointed obscenely up at the ceiling. As his eyes spun, Bloodberry dusted her hands off.  
  
"Put yer legs down *hic* Hana-ko. Looking at that pasty white ass of yours is making me lose my appetite."  
  
"Humph!" Hanagata snorted, immediately sitting down beside the table and folding his legs as delicately as his injured pride and short skirt would allow. "Just for that, Hana Claus isn't going to give you anything this year, Bloodberry."  
  
WHAP!!  
  
"Otaru-kun!! Tell her to stop hitting me!!"  
  
Otaru sighed. "Alright, Hanagata. What's with the weird outfit?"  
  
"I already told you, Otaru-kun! I'm Hana Claus, and I've come to fill your home and your hearts with Christmas cheer and --"  
  
"Merry Christmas everybody!!"  
  
"Mew mew mewwww!!"  
  
Immediately marionettes and man turned their attention to the door, where Yumeji stood wearing a festive green bow and a Santa hat. Next to him stood a maroon ponta cub, similarly adorned.  
  
"Hao, Yume-chan! Come sit by me!"  
  
"Yeah, make yerself at *hic* home, kid."  
  
"Would you like some rice pudding, Yumeji-kun?" Cherry asked, slapping Hanagata's hand away as he reached for the bowl.  
  
"CHERRY!! THAT'S SO UNFAIR!!" Hanagata bellowed, clutching at his now enlarged and very red hand. "You didn't offer me anything and I've been here longer than Yumeji!"  
  
Cherry silenced Hanagata by throwing a ladleful of pudding in his face.  
  
"As I was saying, Yumeji-kun, would you like some rice pudding?"  
  
"Oh, that's ok, Cherry-san," Yumeji beamed. "I can't stay too long, anyway, 'cause I gotta get to bed real early. See, onii-sama and me haveta get up really early to go visit Daddy, and we'll probably be there all of Christmas Day, so I wanted to make sure you got your presents before we left."  
  
"You got us presents?" Otaru asked.  
  
"Yay!! Presents! Presents!! Presents!"  
  
"Hai!" Grinning ear to ear, Yumeji held out four small baskets, each marked with a name. "I hope you like the baskets. I made them myself in school. Gomen nasai, Bloodberry-san," he said, bowing, "But I couldn't get the ribbon on yours to tie that well."  
  
But Bloodberry was too busy admiring the small bottle of sake in her basket to notice.  
  
"Sugoiiii," she cried, shoving a fingernail into the bottle's top. "Arigatou. *hic* Yume-chan!"  
  
Cherry barely had time to glare as Bloodberry began greedily gulping down Yumeji's gift before her present sent her into paroxysms of joy. "Oh, my! Look at this wonderful new apron! Yumeji-kun, you shouldn't have!"  
  
"WAI!!!" Lime tightly hugged her stuffed ponta kun and beamed at the young boy. "It looks just like a ponta-kun, only I can squeeze it as tight as I want without hurting him! I love him, Yume-chan!"  
  
Otaru clicked his pocket knife open. "Arigatou, Yumeji. I've been needing a new one for a few weeks now."  
  
"We have your present right here, Yumeji," Cherry said, handing the young boy a small package.   
  
"Ohh!" Yumeji's eyes widened as he tore the wrapping paper away.   
  
"I hope it fits, considering how you've been growing these days," Cherry apologized as Yumeji held up a red, green and purple sweater.  
  
"Waiiii..." the boy murmured, his eyes widening as he looked the garment over appreciatively. "It's all different colors! Just like you guys' eyes!"   
  
"Yup, that's right!" Lime chirped, reaching out to pat Yumeji's hair. "That's cuz Cherry, Bloodberry and me all took turns knitting it."  
  
"Uh-oh," Bloodberry giggled as Yumeji slipped the sweater over his head. "Looksh like *hic* the kid's gonna haveta do sum growin' into it *hic* *hic* firsht..."  
  
"Nahh, that's okay," Yumeji grinned as he rolled the sweater's sleeves over his wrists. "I'm growing so fast these days that Daddy says I'll be as big as him in a few years. So if that's the case, it'll fit in no time!"  
  
"Maa, what a pathetic gift!"  
  
Three pairs of eyebrows twitched and six fists immediately clenched as Otaru's marionettes shot Hanagata a nasty look. Cherry was the first to speak, and in a sickeningly sweet tone.  
  
"Would you mind repeating yourself, Hana-chan?"   
  
"I said it's a pathetic gift! I could buy him a better looking one at my Da-- at any department store."  
  
As the three marionettes fumed, Yumeji shot Hanagata a dirty look. "Hey, Onii-sama, don't be so rude," he said, petting the sweater as if it were an injured puppy. "They worked real hard on this present and --"  
  
"And now it's time that I showed them just how superior my gifts actually are! Stand back, Yumeji!" Yumeji let out a surprised little cry as Hanagata pushed him aside to leap onto the table.  
  
"Do you MIND?!?" Cherry shrieked, grabbing the bowl of pudding just seconds before the force of Hanagata's sudden jump sent it crashing to the floor.   
  
"Yeah, Hanagata, stop the stupid melodramatics and get the hell off the table," Otaru growled.   
  
"That's not fair! Otaru-kun!" Hanagata cried, stamping his foot until the jingle bells on his striped elf shoes rang with abandon. "I'm just trying to spread love and cheer in my cute little Hana Clause outfit!"  
  
"Well, *hic* fiine. Give us yer stupid ass presents, spread yer *hiiiuc!* damn love an' scheer... an' get the ... get outta the housh, Ana-koh," Bloodberry growled.  
  
"Yeah, Hanagata. Just get it over with, already," Otaru repeated, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at the skirt-clad youth on the table in front of him.  
  
"Oh... of course," and grinning ear to ear, Hanagata reached into his sack and pulled out three sloppily wrapped packages. "For you!" Lime blinked as he thrust one into her hands. "And you" one to Cherry. "And you too, of course."  
  
"Hey, watch it, Hana-ko!" Bloodberry slurred. "Ya almosth hit me in...inna face with yer schtupid gift."  
  
Hanagata clenched his fists. "It is NOT A STUPID GIFT!!!" he roared, flailing his fists in the air. Otaru and his marionettes gulped and only narrowly dodged the flames that spurted from Hanagata's mouth. "IT'S A VERY SPECIAL PRESENT THAT TOOK ME HOURS TO FIND SO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, OPEN IT AND LET ME SPREAD SOME FUCKING CHRISTMAS CHEER ALREADY!!!"  
  
A long silence followed as marionette and man stared at the furious skirt-clad young man. At last Yumeji sighed and turned to his maroon ponta friend.  
  
"Ne, Ponta-kun? Onii-sama really needs to switch to decaff, huh?"  
  
"Mew mewwww!"  
  
"So are you going to open them or not?" Hanagata hissed, ignoring Yumeji as his eyes continued to flash.  
  
"Fine, whatevvah," Bloodberry sighed as she bent down to untie the gift's clumsy bow. "I wonder whag crappy thing he got us this year."  
  
"Perhaps I can sell it at the market later," Cherry shrugged as she began to do the same.  
  
And once again, Hanagata bristled. "What the hell did you just say, you stupid ma--"  
  
"Ne, ne, Otaru? What's this funny thing?" Lime asked, holding up her gift. At the sound of her voice, everyone in the room turned to look. Lime was staring quizzically at the roll of green duct tape resting in her gloved hands. "It smells kinda funny."  
  
"What in the world?" Cherry asked as she removed a red roll of duct tape from its hastily taped wrappings.   
  
"Heh. This is schtupid." Bloodberry hiccuped, fingering her roll of white duct tape as if it were a dead rodent she'd just found in her sukiyaki.  
  
And at their less than positive reactions, Hanagata went ballistic.  
  
"No, it is NOT 'SCHTUPID', BLOODBERRY!!! THOSE ARE SPECIAL ROLLS OF CHRISTMAS DUCT TAPE!!" Grinning, Hanagata posed with one hand on the table, and one hand over his heart. "Behold! Lime's smells like limes, Cherry's like Cherries, and yours, my dear girl, like --"  
  
"Like a damn septic tank!" Bloodberry growled, her hand tightening around the roll of tape as smoke begin to curl out of her ears.  
  
"No, it actually smells like pine trees. But it's obvious that you're uneducated enough not to know that. You may all thank me now."  
  
"Oh, sure. Let's all thank Hana-ko properly now..." Bloodberry purred.  
  
"It's about time," Hanagata humphed, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting, his eyes closed to the three marionettes' actions. "Of course, I found the perfect gifts because I, the manly Hanagata Mitsurugi, am none other than Japoness' own number one super shopper!"  
  
"Let 'im have it, girls!"  
  
"Huh?! Hey!!" Hanagata cried as a stream of white duct tape coiled around his hands. "Just what the heck do you think you're --"  
  
"Giving you *our* little Christmas present, Hana-ko," Bloodberry purred. And Otaru, Yumeji and Ponta-kun stared on in complete and utter shock, the girls proceeded to wrap Hanagata head to toe in duct tape until he resembled a mummy attempting to get into the holiday spirit.  
  
"This isn't exactly peace on earth, good will to mennnnnnnnnn!" Hanagata wailed seconds before being silenced by a strip of green tape across his mouth.  
  
"Aww, really?" Bloodberry asked, bringing her face close enough for Hanagata to smell her sake-tinged breath. "Well, good thing you're not a real man then! Ready gals? One... two..."  
  
"Mppphhh!"  
  
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!!"  
  
"MPPPPPPHHHH!!!"  
  
And with these words, Hanagata slammed through the roof and flew into the night sky.  
  
"Heheheheh!" Lime clapped and giggled as Hanagata became nothing more than a twinkle among many stars. "Look! It's the Christmas star!"  
  
"Yeah, it sure is beautiful!" Bloodberry hiccuped, putting her arm around Lime's shoulders and grinning up at the sky.  
  
"Indeed," Cherry added, turning her eyes upwards as well.  
  
"Could this Christmas be any merrier?" Otaru wondered out loud as he followed the marionettes' gaze.  
  
"Hey, that was kinda mean, you guys."  
  
"Huh?" The marionettes and Otaru turned around to find Yumeji frowning at them, his hands on his hips. And although Ponta-kun wasn't exactly frowning, his black eyes glittered disapprovingly as he stared at the quartet.  
  
"Aww, what was mean, Yume?" Bloodberry asked, returning to her sake.  
  
"What was mean?! How can you say that, Bloodberry-chan! Onii-sama gave you some presents and you were mean to him, that's what!"  
  
"Well, he shouldn'ta bought us such dumb-ass gifts, then," Bloodberry shrugged.  
  
"Agreed, Yume-chan. Hana-chan behaved ungraciously from the moment he entered our home."  
  
"So it was okay to throw him out? It's Christmas Eve, guys!"  
  
"Hannie-chan gives bad presents," Lime huffed, toying with the cardboard roll that once held her green duct tape.  
  
Yumeji's scowl only deepened. "And did you guys get him anything?"  
  
The three marionettes blinked.  
  
"Well, no, I can't say that we actually did," Bloodberry said at last.  
  
"I didn't, either."  
  
"Ne, ne, Otaru? Do we haveta get people presents if they give us crappy gifts?"  
  
Otaru simply blushed and looked away, folding his arms over his chest. "Humph! Hanagata doesn't deserve a present if he's gonna barge in here and behave like a jerk when --"  
  
"Even if he bought you a present too? Listen, everyone! Sure Onii-sama was stupid tonight, but he did his best to find you all nice presents. He just... he just kinda forgot that Christmas Eve was today, that's all."  
  
Lime looked puzzled. "But it says it's Christmas Eve on the calendar."  
  
"Well, Onii-sama was too scared to look at the calendar."  
  
"Aww, so what was the big baby afraid of this time? Gettin' a paper cut if he *hic hic* turned da page?"  
  
"You guys just don't get it, do you?!" Yumeji cried. "Onii-sama didn't look at the calendar because he's scared of Christmas! Last year, our Daddy beat him up for buying him the wrong gift, and Onii-sama had to stay in the hospital until the new year!"  
  
"Hot damn, I think I'd like your Daddy, Yumeji!" Bloodberry cried. "Does he beat your stupid brother all the time or --"  
  
"Kuso!"   
  
"Yumeji, don't you want to stay for some more pudding?"  
  
"No," Yumeji said, turning back as he reached the door. "I think I'm gonna go home and make Onii-sama a hot cup of egg nog. He's gonna need it when he gets home. Don't you understand? Holidays are really bad for Onii-sama, and he tried his best."  
  
"Yumeji wait!"  
  
"Myah myah myah!" Ponta-kun scolded before scurrying after his friend. Seconds later, the door to Otaru's apartment slammed shut.  
  
Marionettes and man sat in stunned silence for a moment, and even Bloodberry looked a little ashamed. Finally, Otaru shoved his hands into his pockets and stood up.  
  
"Well, that was really strange," he said. "Cherry, do you need some help cleaning up after -- huh? What's this?"  
  
Otaru looked down to find an oddly-shaped parcel at the toe of his red shoe. Had he taken one step further, he would have crushed it. "Too my dearest Otaru-kun, my soul mate and eternal love, from your Hana-kins. Eh, it's just Hanagata's stupid present."  
  
"Eh, it's probably another roll of duct tape with ecchi pictures on it," Bloodberry shrugged, going back to her sake.  
  
"Do you want me to throw it out, Otaru-sama?" Cherry asked.  
  
"No, that's okay, Cherry," Otaru replied as he scooped the gift up. "Might as well open it," as the wrapping paper fell to the floor, Otaru smiled. "You never know. It might be good for a laugh or --"  
  
"Or what, Otaru?" Lime asked, looking up from her fifteenth helping of rice pudding as her master's voice trailed off. But Otaru did not answer. Instead, he found himself staring at the smeared image of Hanagata that stared at him from the center of a large glass... plate?  
  
"What is it, Otaru-sama?"  
  
"Yeah, is it *hic* really that butt ugly?"  
  
Yes, Otaru had to admit, it indeed was. And yet, something about that smeared face, with its large pleading blue eyes and it's smeared drooling grin...  
  
"Actually, it's kinda cute... look, Lime," Otaru held up the plate for the marionettes' inspection. "It looks like your bowl, don't you think?"  
  
Lime turned her bowl around to verify her master's query. And upon seeing the smeared image, she looked back up at the plate and giggled. "Hehehehe. Yeah! It sure does!"  
  
"Oh my, that is hilarious!" Cherry chuckled, covering her mouth with a dainty hand. And even Bloodberry gave the plate an appreciative smirk before returning to her sake.  
  
"Aw, hell," Otaru said, putting the plate back onto the table. "I guess I should go over and thank him for this. I'll be right back, guys." And with that, he opened the front door and stepped out into the cold night air.  
  
(end part 3) 


	4. It's a wonderful... plate?

Gifts: Chapter Four  
  
Lady Aoi's Notes: Watch for the director's cut later this summer ^_~  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Ahh-AHHH!! Yumeji that HURT!!"  
  
"Hang on, Onii-sama," the little boy soothed as he reached down to pull a final strip of tape from his brother's left leg. "Almost done..."  
  
"Well, hurry up and finish, Yumeji! This tape is beginning to chafe and --"  
  
RRRRRIIIPPPPP!!!  
  
"DAA-OWWWWWWWW!!!" Hanagata screamed, rubbing his arm furiously. Yumeji and his ponta friend's eyes widened in tandem as Hanagata leapt to his feet and began jumping up and down, howling in pain and clutching his arm.  
  
"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOOWWO!!! THAT HURT YUMEJI!!!!!"  
  
Yumeji merely blinked as he crumpled the final piece of festive green tape into a ball and added it to the pile of small tape balls in the trash bag at his side. "But, Onii-sama," he said, in the most reasonable tone of voice he could muster after three hours of removing tape from the skin of his screaming, crying, swearing and tantrum-throwing sibling. "If you'd just sat there quietly, it woulda been over sooner and hurt a whole lot less."  
  
"Oh, shut up!!!" Hanagata bawled, lowering his head into the crook of his elbow. Sighing, Yumeji merely stood aside as two streams of tears flooded from Hanagata's eyes for what seemed like the nine-thousandth time that evening. "You have no idea what it feels like, Yumeji! No idea what it feels like being rejected by your true love AND ON CHRISTMAS EVE, NO LESS!!"  
  
"Well, no, but--" Yumeji sighed and shrugged his shoulders at the ponta cub as if to say 'he's right, what do I know about stuff like that?'  
  
"Myahhh," the creature answered, shrugging helplessly.  
  
But what, Yumeji?!?' Hanagata bellowed, looking up with tear-swollen red eyes. "He sat right there and let those filthy marionettes abuse me!" Yumeji winced as Hanagata ran his dribbling nose over the sleeve of his short Santa costume. "I bet he even threw my special Christmas gift away, too!"  
  
"Well, it's not like it'd be some big loss, Onii-sama," Yumeji said.  
  
"And what do you mean by *that* underhanded remark, Ototo-chan?"  
  
"N--nothing!" Yumeji stammered, backing up slightly from his older brother's murderously scowling face. "I -- I just meant that -- um... um.... you thought it was a pretty ugly plate so..... maybe all's just well that ends well this time, huh? Oh, don't do that, Onii-sama!" he cried as Hanagata's face crumpled into another fit of bawling. "I'm sure he liked it fine!!"  
  
"N--no he didn't! *sniff sniff* O--otaru-kun hates everything I give him and everything I do for him!! I bet he threw it away, or gave it to that awful Cherry to use as a serving dish *sniff sniff*. Really, and it's a decorative plate o--only, Yumeji!! You aren't supposed to eat off it, and that's just what those she-devils are going to do!!"  
  
"You're shaking me again, Onii-sama," Yumeji sighed and rolled his eyes as Hanagata buried his face against the young boy's shoulder and began crying again. Sighing, Yumeji sat down next to his brother and gently began stroking his hair, as if comforting a hurt and frightened child. "Onii-sama..."   
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Have you ever thought that, well --" Yumeji struggled for a moment to put the question in the right words (i.e. tactfully enough to prevent his older brother from sending *him* into orbit that night) "I mean... have you ever thought that maybe you and Otaru-san just weren't meant to be together?"  
  
Hanagata answered this question by emitting a pathetic-sounding gurgle, burp, and hiccup.  
  
"I mean, you're really a cool guy, Onii-sama, and maybe... maybe Otaru-san just can't see that. But I'm sure there are lots of guys out there who'd just love it if you wanted to be their soul mate."  
  
"Oh really? Nabe wond!"   
  
Ignoring the snot Hanagata was currently dribbling onto his shoulder, Yumeji thought for a moment. "Well, what about one of the guys that lives on the other side of the street? I think Soujiro-san thinks you're kinda cute."  
  
"Soujirow-sad iz tagken, Yubeggie. And besigs, ghe's too olg for me."  
  
"Well, what about one of Daddy's friend's sons?" Yumeji asked, smoothing a lock of hair away from Hanagata's wet forehead. "They're all nice guys, I'm sure!"  
  
"Humphf! Daggy's friends thing I'b an idiot, Yubeggie. Rebember thag party we had and thag awful gabe they played?"  
  
"Oh..." Yumeji shuddered slightly as he recalled the impromptu game of 'Throw Mitsurugi over Joshyua's roof' that had errupted at his father's last party. Even Kamatarou had been a little shaken by the sight of fifteen hearty young men, the sons of some of his best friends, hurling his eldest boy back and forth as if he were nothing more than a rag doll. "Well, um, how about Obiichi-san?"  
  
"He lobz bmarioneggs eben more thag Otaru-kug."  
  
"Uh... well, how about Gennai -san?" Inwardly, Yumeji winced at the mental image. "Uh... I mean he is a guy, afterall... I think..."  
  
"You're really gettig desperate now, huh Yubeggie?"  
  
"Uh... well.... I'm sure the right guy will come along eventually, Onii-sama. You've just gotta be patient, that's all!"  
  
Hanagata was silent for a few seconds. And then: "BUT I'B HAPPY WITH THE WRONG MAN WHOSE HERE NOW, YUBEGGIE!!!!" he wailed, grabbing onto his head and shaking it back and forth furiously.  
  
Yumeji sighed. "Okay, Onii-sama... okay. Why don't you just relax a little while I go warm up a cup of egg nog for you, or something. Can you do that?"  
  
Hanagata whimpered like a hurt kitten, curled up in a ball, and began thrashing around on his bed. Deciding this was the only answer he was going to get, Yumeji shrugged and padded off to the apartment's small kitchen.  
  
"Hey, ponta-kun? Let's have a little of that egg nog too, okay?" he muttered to the maroon creature. "After a night like this, I think we deserve to get a little tipsy."  
  
"Myah MYAHHH!!"  
  
As soon as the door to the kitchen closed, Hanagata sat up, made certain Yumeji had left the room, and then went back to rolling and sobbing at an increased pace. He was so busy doing this, he didn't hear the knock on the front door until the frustrated visitor took it upon himself to push the door open and enter uninvited.  
  
"Hey, Hanagata," Otaru said softly. "Hanagata?" he asked again as the blonde boy continued to roll (and quite immodestly, too!) across his bed. "Hanagata?"  
  
"Aww, leave me alone," the older boy sniveled, burying his head beneath the crescent moon-shaped pillow on his bed. "Just leave me alone and let me die in peace from my broken, broken heart!"  
  
"Oh for --" Otaru rolled his eyes. "Oi, Hanagata! You're behaving like a spoiled brat."  
  
"I don't care!! I'm going to have a terrible Christmas morning, anyway, so why bother?! I might as well cry all my tears out now, before Daddy beats them out for getting him the wrong present, or for speaking out of turn, or for some other offense."  
  
"Aw, stop pitying yourself, ya big ninny! If you'd just --" Otaru blinked as the full weight of Hanagata's words sank in. "Huh? Your father hits you if you get him the wrong present?"  
  
The moon-shaped pillow only wiggled a little in response.  
  
"But --" Otaru scratched his head. "But why's that?"  
  
"Because he hates me!" Hanagata wailed, still not looking up.   
  
"Oi, Hanagata, I'm sure that isn't the --"  
  
"It is so! He says I'm a silly, worthless fool who costs more than it's worth to keep him and --" Hanagata simply whimpered for a few moments before getting enough control over himself to continue. "--and that I'm too stupid to be worthy of such an honorable family name."  
  
"Aw, I'm sure he doesn't mean it! He's probably just exaggerating, or --"  
  
"Or what?"  
  
Otaru sighed and shrugged, despite the fact his next door neighbor was unable to see the movement. "Well, I mean... maybe he just thinks that -- that he's doing the right thing or -- "  
  
"Face it," Hanagata cut in. "He hates me. Humph. I could give him the moon and he wouldn't be happy. And he's going to show me how unhappy he is tomorrow."  
  
Otaru just stood there as his next door neighbor proceeded to cry and shake. Huh... so Hanagata had been telling the truth the entire time. Who would have guessed? "Well..." he began again, deciding not to argue with the boy over the personality of a man he'd never met. "I'm sure that... well, that not everyone hates you, Hanagata."  
  
A hiccup that sounded vaguely like an "oh yeah?!" came from beneath the pillow.  
  
"Of course not," Otaru looked around, desperately struggling to come up with a person fitting said description. "Well... I mean... there's Yumeji. He doesn't hate you, right?"  
  
"He's my ototo-chan. He's expected to." Hanagata whimpered miserably.  
  
"Look," Otaru sighed, realizing he was entirely out of options. "Just... nobody hates you, okay?"  
  
"Then why ...." the hero of Japoness had to strain forward to hear his neighbor's next few choked words. "Then why does *everyone* act like...."  
  
"Act like what, Hanagata?" Ignoring his own impulses to stay rooted safely away from Hanagata's bed (and thus, the strong possibility of being hugged, kissed and/or otherwise molested by its current occupant), Otaru found himself sitting down on the pink and lavender satin sheets, anyway.  
  
He needn't have worried, though. Hanagata didn't even look up as Otaru repeated his question.  
  
"Act like what, Hanagata?"  
  
"Like I'm..." a soft, sad sigh escaped his lips. "Like I'm invisible..."  
  
Otaru rolled his eyes. "Aw, hell. Snap out of it, Hanagata! You sure the hell weren't invisible tonight at dinner. People tend to notice when you jump on the table and flash your underwear at them, you know."  
  
"You didn't think it was sexy?" Otaru did his best to stifle a glare as Hanagata peeked out at him from beneath his fortress of pillows.  
  
"Hell, no! Jeeze, Hanagata! Like I'd find staring at anyone's underwear -- uh, to be that."  
  
"You would if it were Lime's, or Cherry's or -- or anyone's but mine!" Otaru narrowly managed to dodge two more jet streams of tears (~How does he do that, anyway?~) as Hanagata buried his face in his hands and began wailing again.  
  
"Then it is true!! You do hate me, after all!"  
  
"Hanagata, for god's sweet sake, just shut up and listen for a second okay?!?" When the blonde finally stopped crying and turned his now even more red and swollen eyes to him, Otaru stared down at the covers, and began picking at a small stain.  
  
"Listen, nobody hates you. But nobody wants you interrupting dinner and being a jerk either, okay? Do you understand."  
  
"But--"  
  
"Hanagata, when are you going to learn that your life doesn't revolve around us? And that ours doesn't revolve around you? Normal people just don't barge into other people's houses in --" Otaru waved his hand helplessly at Hanagata's short costume "-- in stuff like that and start throwing insults out, okay?"  
  
"I just wanted to..."  
  
"Hanagata?"  
  
"I just wanted to *sniff sniff* have a good Christmas for once, Otaru-kun. Do you understand?"  
  
Sighing, Otaru looked the young man over. Long, almost feminine legs made even longer by his skimpy red and white Santa outfit, clumsy gangly hands currently wiping at a dribbling nose, and a pair of small eyes, the blue irises of which were now inflamed into a despondent and puffy violet.   
  
~It's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen...~  
  
"Yeah, well," he said after a moment, being careful to make his voice as gentle as possible. "You coulda done that by just asking if you could come over, you know?"  
  
"Just so you could slam the door in my face?"   
  
"Hanagata --!" the young man winced and crawled back against his pillows as Otaru struggled to control his temper. "For god's sake, we only slam the door in your face because you're always storming in on things! If you just knocked for once and asked nicely to come in, maybe the girls'd like you better.... and maybe if you weren't such a prick about your gifts, they'dve liked those, too."  
  
"They didn't get me anything, and I'm supposed to be the one who's not behaving correctly?!?" Hanagata scowled darkly.   
  
"Hey now, wait a second," Otaru held up his hands defensively as Hanagata's right eyebrow began its characteristically apoplectic twitching. "That isn't exactly true."  
  
"Oh really? So what did they get me? A few broken bones, a lot of arm hair lost due to duct tape?!"  
  
"I could have done without the mental image, Hanagata," Otaru winced. "And anyway, it's not that at all. After you left, um..."   
  
"You decided you never want to see me again? Thanks for breaking it gently, Otaru-kun."  
  
"Now, damn it, will you stop being sarcastic and just listen? After you left, I saw your present. That was nice of you to get me one, thanks."  
  
Hanagata just blinked. "You mean, you actually liked that monstrosity?"  
  
Otaru shrugged. "It made me laugh. And it also made me realize that I didn't buy you a darn thing. I'm sorry about that, Hanagata," he said as he pulled a small package out of his pocket. "You see, I came over here because -- well, because I wasn't the only one in the wrong tonight, okay?"  
  
Hanagata eyed the package suspiciously. "That isn't going to explode when I open it or anything, right Otaru-kun?"  
  
"No, it's just a normal gift."  
  
"It's not something nasty."  
  
"Uh, no..."  
  
"You're not trying to get me to help wash your dishes are--"  
  
"HANAGATA, I GOT YOU A REGULAR, DAMN PRESENT!! NOW OPEN IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"  
  
"Oh..." Hanagata gulped and took the small parcel from his friend. "A--alright." Otaru watched as the young man slowly removed the purple ribbon and the wrapping paper, as if the gift might come alive and bite him at any moment. But upon seeing the look of delighted surprise that crossed Hanagata's face as he opened the small box, one would not have been able to guess this.  
  
"Oh... Otaru-kun.... y--you really shouldn't have! It's so-- so expensive...and oh so magnificent..."  
  
"Yeah, well, I got a Christmas bonus at the Happi Burger, and I figured, if you bought me something so nice, then maybe you deserved something..."  
  
But Hanagata was no longer listening. He was busy cradling the Krystal Kave special edition Mamiya Otaru glass plate as if it were a holy relic.  
  
"Oh, Otaru-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun..."  
  
"Hey, now, woah, Hanagata!" Otaru protested as the young man dropped the plate gently on the bed and threw his arms around his neck, wrapping his friend in a near-asphyxiating embrace."  
  
"Otaru-KUUUUUUUUN!!!"  
  
And sighting, Otaru returned the embrace, gently hugging Hanagata's back. For a long moment, the two friends merely sat there, wrapped in each other's arms. At last, Otaru pulled himself free.  
  
"It's getting late," he said, glancing at the clock. "I promised to read Lime *The Night Before Christmas*, and I think Cherry needs some help washing up." Hanagata blushed slightly as Otaru returned his hand to his friend's shoulder. "Are you gonna be okay now? I mean, with your father and Christmas and all..."  
  
Hanagata gave him a truly radiant smile. "Now that you're here, I know I'll be fine. Thank you, Otaru-kun."  
  
"Yeah... aw, it was nothin'."  
  
The two stared at each other for a moment.  
  
"Well, Merry Christmas, Hanagata."  
  
"Merry Christmas, Otaru-kun."  
  
Another long pause. Neither looked away. And finally, "Otaru-kun?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We're sitting under the mistletoe."  
  
"Huh?" Otaru looked upwards and sighed. "Hanagata, you're supposed to hang that over the damn door!"  
  
"Heh. And what's wrong with making a little tradition for oneself?"  
  
"...." for once, Otaru realized he couldn't argue with him. "I suppose nothing."  
  
"But then, some traditions are nice to keep, aren't they?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess so."  
  
"So, Otaru-kun... w--will you?"  
  
Otaru shrugged. "Just make it quick."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Heh."  
  
And slowly, Otaru leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Hanagata's cheek. "Merry Christmas," he whispered to the stunned Hanagata. And with that, he was gone back into the night.  
  
Hanagata could only stand there for a moment, his fingers splayed lightly over his right cheek as if to retain the sensation of Otaru's lips on his skin for the rest of eternity. And as he stood there, his face slowly turned a dark and happy crimson.  
  
"Otaru-kun kissed me.... Otaru-kun kissed me...."  
  
Grinning ear to ear, Hanagata jabbed his finger at Kamatarou's scowling portrait.  
  
"Hahahah! In your face, Daddy! Otaru-kun KISSED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" And with that, he leapt off the ground and through the ceiling.  
  
SMASH!!  
  
"Hey, Onii-sama," Yumeji said, sliding the door to his brother's room open again, "I got your egg nog all ready, so...oh."   
  
"Mew?"  
  
Yumeji and Ponta-kun stared up through the Hanagata-shaped hole in the roof just in time to see a Hanagata-shaped figure shooting happily through the sky.  
  
"Otaru-kun KISSED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
Yumeji sighed and gulped down some of his brother's drink. "I'm glad he's so happy now, Ponta-kun," he said to his small maroon friend. "Cause he sure isn't gonna be Christmas morning when he sees what robe I had to buy for Daddy."  
  
"Mrah mrah meow!!"  
  
But to the figure currently careening happily through space above them, such things, at least for the time being, no longer mattered.  
  
~ The End~ 


End file.
